Avoiding the Speed Bumps and Good Key Karma

My friend and blogging mentor {and a frequent "you won't believe how amazing she is!" topic on this blog and my other blog}, Ann Deakers, gave me some advice this morning that I found quite good:  "You can avoid the speed bumps ..."

Let me tell you the context:  we were leaving our morning workout at the YMCA and as we got into our cars, Ann said "you know, if you go out the north exit of the parking lot, you can avoid the speed bumps."

It was that simple.

But as I got in the car, I was struck with the wisdom of her simple advice. 

"you can avoid the speed bumps."

Wouldn't we all like to avoid the speed bumps?  Literally and figuratively?  Life is beautiful, yes, but it can be a challenge, we can endure plenty of pain and suffering, there will always be hiccups along the way.  SPEED BUMPS, if you will.

I know that I am not the first person {and I'd venture to say, I won't be the last} to compare actual speed bumps with figurative / life-occurences-related speed bumps.  But I just had to share that with you all today.

Listen to your friends.  ALWAYS listen to your friends.  For the most part, our friendships survive and thrive precisely because ... they help us work through or avoid ... life's speed bumps.

There.  I've got that out of my system for today! 

Oh, and speaking of cars and bumps ... I want to say that I had the most excellent key karma lately ... not just once, but twice.  In one month.  Here's how that went for me: 

The first incident was that I parked outside a Michael's (arts and crafts supplies) a few weeks ago, on a drizzly morning, and as I got out of the car, I noticed I had parked next to a storm drain.  You know the kind with the stencilled dolphin that says "I live downstream" ???  As I shut the car door, my keys fell to the ground.  One single inch away from that drain.  On a slanted surface.  I bent down very carefully, very slowly ... and got the keys.  What a relief!

The second incident was even more unbelievable.  Last week, my daughter came over to run an errand with me.  We parked both our cars (at home, in the driveway) at the same time and ran into the house to do a couple of things (like, say, going to the bathroom!).   When we went back outside, I couldn't find my car keys, and I was driving.  I quick grabbed the spare keys and off we went.  40 miles and 40 minutes later, we pulled back into my driveway.  She got out, went inside ... as I got out of the car, something caught my eye.  Yes, I had driven all that way, for all that time, up hill and down dale ... with those keys ON THE TOP OF MY VOLVO.  Thank God, there is a slender channel that runs the length of the top of the car.  One key had wedged itself into that; otherwise, they would have been oh-so-long-gone.   If you don't believe me, I think I took a picture of it.   

so looking at it again, I see that it wasn't really a key that held them all in place ...

                         

rather, it was the little bone-shaped Harrod's "charm" on the keychain, a memento from our 2008 trip to London ... that saved my bacon !!!

And that's all I have to say today about SPEED BUMPS and GREAT KEY KARMA ...

--- Davi

Worthiness: Part Deux

I shouldn't have been surprised when I happened into another serendipitous moment last week ... they just keep coming.

My delightful mother-in-law Marion called to invite me to a women's spiritual retreat April 30 - May 2 here in the hills of East San Diego county, at Whispering Winds { http://www.whisperingwinds.org/index.html } ... the same retreat that Mark and I will attend {separately} in October when we make our Cursillo  { http://www.cursillosd.org/ } retreat/s.

 {photo of Sycamore tree, Leo Carrillo State Park, CA - by me - December 2009}

I was really interested when she told me who the Retreat speaker / leader will be:  Sister Macrina Weiderkehr, O.S.B. who I read quite often in our daily "Living Faith" book ... { http://www.livingfaith.com/ } which is a "daily Catholic devotional".   And get this:  Sr. Macrina has a BLOG.  How could I not want to attend a Retreat with a Sister who blogs?  Really !!!   { http://macrina-underthesycamoretree.blogspot.com/ }

You may have read my last blog post, HUSTLING FOR WORTHINESS.  I hope you did, anyway.

So Marion invites me to this Retreat, I tell her I'd love to attend, and then I run upstairs to look at some of Sister's writings ... lo and behold, Sister Macrina's meditation for Sunday, March 14 ... A PARTY FOR THE UNWORTHY ... jumped out at me.   Worthiness?  Unworthy people?    Now that is just plain more than mere coincidence, don't you agree?

I'd like to "lift" that reading in its entirety here for you all to consider:

taken from LIVING FAITH, 2010:

A PARTY FOR THE UNWORTHY / March 14 / Fourth Sunday of Lent
" But now we must celebrate and rejoice ..."   Luke 15:32

Embarassing as it is to acknowledge this, I often feel like the Prodigal Son's older brother.  I completely understand his sentiments.  He was not able to rejoice over another's good fortune because he was focusing on whether the recipient of his father's love was truly deserving.  He was also wallowing in  his own imagined neglect:  I've been faithful all these years, and no one even noticed.  Poor me!   This gospel offers marvelous material for prayer and reflection for each of us.  Are we able to rejoice with another when because of some good gift they've received whether it be a material gift, a promotion or new opportunity, an affirmation or reward?  Or has our fountain of joy dried up because we are foundering in our own misery?  Look deep within your heart to see if there may be a bit of rejoicing you are withholding.  Practice being glad because of another's good fortune.

Oh most merciful One, teach me to throw a party for the unworthy, knowing that I may be the guest of honor.   ~~ Sr. Macrina Weiderkehr, O.S.B.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do we judge others to be "unworthy"?  Do we judge ourselves as being "unworthy" ??? 

Let's follow Christ's example and find EVERY ONE OF US ... worthy ... of our respect, our kindness, our generosity, our joy in their gifts ... let us be gentle with ourselves and others.

And by the way, when I also discovered that my most favorite art teacher, Chris Cozen, will be in town again on the exact same dates as the Retreat, I had a moment, a twinge, of  "oh, no, this can't be ..."   Until I realized that I most need to be at this women's spiritual retreat at this point in not just my life, but in my art-walk as well.   {but for those interested in taking the spot I would have filled at Chris' classes, you can visit Stamping Details at http://www.stampingdetails.com/ for class details; with my blessing!}

--  Davielle

The Hustle of Worthiness ... Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging, and Being Enough - with Dr. Brene Brown

One of my favorite people in the whole world is the wholehearted DR. BRENE BROWN ... a researcher, writer, and professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. 

Brene has spent the last decade studying a concept she calls Wholeheartedness, posing the question:  "How do we cultivate a life defined by authenticity, love and belonging, joy and gratitude, and a resilient spirit, and what gets in the way?"

Wouldn't we all like to have the answer/s to that question?  I know I would ...


Last year, Brene offered an on-line READ-ALONG with her book,  "I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't)" , which I blogged about ... and participated in ...


This year, we are waiting with baited breath {what does that mean, really, anyway?!  "baited breath".  hmmm} for the release of  her new book, "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" .  Due out in April 2010, this promises to be more wonderful work along the lines of  "ITIWJM(bii)". 

  This week, however, we are celebrating the release of a new DVD by Brene, "THE HUSTLE OF WORTHINESS: Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging, and Being Enough".

In the post about the release of her new DVD, author Brown notes: "Our lives are a collection of stories -- truths about who we are, what we believe, what we come from, how we struggle, and how we are strong.  When we can let go of what people think, and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness -- the feeling that we are enough just as we are, and that we are worthy of love and belonging."

How powerful is THAT?!

So what is this word, WORTHY, anyway?  Just what does WORTHINESS mean to you? to me?  I turned to Webster's {my trusty 1956, leather-bound edition that my mother Edith used for decades}:

WORTH:  that quality or sum of qualities of a thing rendering it valuable or useful; value; hence, often, value as expressed in a standard, as money; moral or personal excellence, merit; wealth, riches. 

Webster's goes on to add:

Worth:  the quality of being useful, important, excellent, or the like.

and they define WORTHY ... "Having worth; valuable; estimable. Having adequate merit.  'A person of eminent worth.'

And isn't that what each and every single one of us are?  WORTHY?  Having worth.  Of value and importance and useful ???

Being a lover of quotes, I found some very poignant ones that speak to me of the word and the concept of WORTH ...

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Do not let your peace depend on the hearts of men; whatever they say about you, good or bad, you are not because of it another man, for as you are, you are." -- Thomas a' Kempis

"The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself." -- Mark Twain

and to bookend the quote from Eleanor ...

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do.  That is character!" -- Theodore Roosevelt

But I think that the quote speaking to me loud and clear this morning is this:

"Women's work is always toward wholeness." -- May Sarton

While women do not have the market cornered on issues of worth/unworthiness and being whole vs. being "broken", I do feel that women strive their whole lives, from the cradle to the grave, for that feeling of wholeness, completion, worthiness ... that Brene addresses. 

Do we struggle with body image issues?  education issues?  career or family or community issues?  {if you answered YES to any of those questions, then you are in excellent company ... because who among us has NOT struggled with those issues, and more?}

Do we ever truly feel that we "stack up" well against our family members, our friends, our neighbors?  {if you answered "YES" to the stacking up well question, then YOU need to be writing a blogpost on this topic yourself!}

I personally battle body-image and health-challenge issues all the time.  From the time I could talk and reason, I wondered "what did I do to deserve these headaches?" and I always wanted to know "why did I get the belly-fat gene in the family?!"   I continue struggling with body image / self-worth issues to this day.

My friend Karen Caterson, who I met through the read-along last year and have grown to love because she is such a beautiful person, caring and giving and open-hearted ... she spends a lot of time addressing body-image concerns that we women face.  Her work CHOOSING ME: Finding Comfort, Joy and Beauty in the Me I am NOW is fantastic! {  http://squarepegpeople.typepad.com/choosing_me }.


I know that we each have our WORTHINESS issues to face ... I invite you to see what Brene has to say about the subject via her new DVD.  And please, please do leave a comment ON MY BLOG ... your comments do mean so much to me, as they do to all bloggers, and gee, it just might give my FEELING WORTHY quotient the boost it needs to ... take the next step.  Or not!  You see, no pressure.



As Brene says, "join me and some of my favorite bloggers this week as we take to the streets to celebrate our messy, imperfect, wild, stretch-marked, wonderful, heartbreaking, grace-filled, and joyful lives!"

Visit Brene at http://www.ordinarycourage.com to read more about her incredible studies.

--  Davielle

Still gathering AN ARTFUL JOURNEY post-Retreat thoughts ...

there WILL be more, including photos ... I promise!

I've been caught up in Google/E-Blogger world for a few days now, trying to create a NEW blog -- an offshoot to "I Am Princess Magpie", and in so doing, I made a little mess of which e-mail address goes with which blog log-in !!!

Help! 

Hoping that Ann, my blogging mentor, can help me straighten it all out ...

:-)
Davi

I'm still in RETREAT mode ... and that's a good thing

I have had a handful of friends asking me ... "when are you going to blog about An Artful Journey?"  and ... "when can we see the pictures from An Artful Journey?" ... and "what did you think of An Artful Journey?" ...  I mean, really, I could hear Kelly drumming her fingertips next to her keyboard, just jonesing for my first words.  :-)  {thanks, Kelly - I'm glad you want to read what I thought of AAJ.}

Well, to be honest, I've been hoarding the experience ... the memories, the newfound friendships, the sights and scents and sounds, The Presentation Center, and for said hoarding, I do apologize.  I need to - no, I want to share it all, with you all.  Really, I do.  But you have to remember:  Magpies are Hoarders Extraordinaire, and so in this instance, I'm going to really take on the magpie's persona and say "that is what I was doing ..."  Forgive me.

So.  I cannot possibly put into words just how it went for me.  I have a feeling there are plenty of other AAJ participants that are still processing just what happened, just what we all experienced {and while it was unique to us all as individuals, there must be some commonalities to what happened for us all - am I right, ladies?}.  I will TRY, though, to give it a shot {putting it into words, that is}.  It may take several blog posts to get it all out, and to try and get it just right.

Here goes:

It was amazing.  It was eye-opening.  It was warm, and welcoming, and beyond my wildest expectations.  That's saying a lot, 'cause I have a most vivid imagination, and I often have great expectations.  AAJ organizer and "mother" Cindy O'Leary did a spectacular job putting all this together ... from the location (The Presentation Center) ... to the instructors - which read like a "who's who" in Mixed Media:
Albie Smith http://albie-smith.blogspot.com/ ,
DJ Pettit http://djpettitt.typepad.com/djpettitt/ ,
Leslie Riley http://www.lesleyriley.com/index.php ,
Nina Bagley http://www.ornamental.typepad.com/ ,
and of course, Kelly Rae Roberts http://kellyraeroberts.com/  
& Mati Rose McDonough http://www.matirose.com/index.html )

... to the beautifully quilted and embellished and filled with ephemera "Welcome" packets ... to the activities ... and between Cindy and Stephanie, we all felt well cared for and well managed.
 
"Managed?" you might ask.  Imagine if you can:  100+ women (and a few brave-soul husbands!) gathered all together.  At times, it had to feel like herding cats .. and yet, Cindy could get our rapt attention with a quick "ladies ???" and a little "ahem".  Worked like magic, every time.

It was magical.  It was perfect.  It was a new concept in Art Retreating, far as I know .. we each registered to spend the ENTIRE workshop (starting Friday night to breakfast Monday morning) in ONE workshop, with ONE instructor (except for those of us with the Dynamic Duo of Kelly Rae and Mati Rose) ... which meant that we had to fill just ONE supply list, and UNLOAD our supplies into just ONE classroom - for the duration of our stay.  Can you imagine that?   It SOOOO worked, I don't know why this concept hasn't been tried before.  I loved it!

AN ARTFUL JOURNEY was my very first art retreat experience -- and I'm thinking I just might be spoiled by it.  Guess we'll just have to rally 'round Cindy to make that FIRST ANNUAL REUNION happen in February 2011 - same place, same time, same participants.  Wouldn't THAT be magical, ladies?

So I don't know how much more I can say tonight.  Mark just returned from a three-day bike race in Vegas; I am coming off a three-classes-in-a-row Chris Cozen "high" {at the gracious-as-always Stamping Details in Poway, CA}, and I'm looking forward to my Monday morning class with Jane LaFazio and all my friends in there. 

I've got so much art on the brain, I even woke up at 4:20 am on Saturday - and could NOT go back to sleep.  And again, it was an early Sunday morning for me - I had to wake Rocky up, if you can believe that !!!

I am so tired, I can't even post a few random photos to whet your appetite for more blog posts about MY experience of AN ARTFUL JOURNEY.    Well, okay. Here is ONE:

this is how my work space looked Friday morning, right after we finished our GROUP SWAP - we each made little swap goodie bags for everyone in the group.  And COOL TREASURES we all received!  Our workshop had the distinct pleasure of including the 2 AAJ ladies who traveled the furthest to join us:  Beth from the UK, and Cathy all the way from Australia.  Can you believe that?!

And let me just end it like this for now:   what AN ARTFUL JOURNEY opened up for me is such an exciting place inside, I'm guarding it like a newborn.  The dream I have long held to actually "work" in the art field is blossoming, and I am hatching (there's that magpie reference again!) a plan.  And there has been a virtual flock of ideas flowing today that just can't be stopped.  It's so fun!  Wait - did I just use another magpie (bird) reference?  Oh my!

Speaking of winged creatures ... one of my guardian angels, my mother Edith, passed away six years ago today.  It was a Sunday then, too (Leap Year). 

I am ever grateful for a couple of things about her journey to her better place: 

One - she died the day before our daughter Kristina had a horrific car accident - and yet, Kristi walked away with only a few (large and severe) hematomas to her torso.  She had just left work, it was late and dark, and she was thinking of her Grandma Edie and praying that Grandma was at peace ... when it happened.  The policeman who first arrived on the scene told her he could not believe his eyes when he found out SHE was the driver of THAT vehicle.  THAT, my friends, was my mother, protecting her grandchild from harm.

and

Two - I inherited my spirit and my creative talents, if you will, from my mother.  I also inherited these traits from my father's side of the family - every single one of my auntie's had such great taste & style - truly, they did.  But it is to my mother that I owe the most - she encouraged my artistic tendencies, and she always always always believed in me.  When I returned to school to study Interior Design - at the ripe old age of 38, Mom was my biggest supporter.  Thanks, Mom, for that.

And so I believe that all these new ideas, this new DREAM that is forming, is due, in large part, to my mother - who continues to make her presence known to us, the family she left behind six years ago today.  I doubt that this is a coincidence.

I love you, Mom.

-- Davielle  

Living Clutter Free ...

This one isn't going to require much in the way of an intro ... if you know me, you know I tend to clutter.  Anywhere, any time, for any and all excuses (um, Christina is calling them "seemingly logical reasons" ... could she be on to something here?!). 

Let's dive right in, shall we?  {do you see how I'm stalling here? I'm asking for your commitment to join me!}  .  And then, THEN, once I hit "publish post" ... I am heading OUT of my office, AWAY from this computer, and TACKLING some of the clutter I now have major ISSUES with ... LOL.   Awww, come on:  laugh with me here, friends.  {photo shows my desk, 2009 - it does have a much smaller stack now, but still, a stack, nonetheless.}

--  Davielle

SO HERE GOES {with my random comments included, in this color right here ... dark charcoal gray ... am I procrastinating, or what?!} :
9 Seemingly Logical Reasons We Cling to Clutter


by Christine Kane


"Perfection is not when there is no more to add, but no more to take away."   – Antoine de Saint-Exupery


A retired man once told me he loved going camping with his wife because camping showed her how simple life can be "without all that bloomin' stuff she keeps everywhere!"


He's right!



Our lives are meant to be simple. Our intuition and creativity thrive when given freedom and space. Clutter is a disease. {I was afraid of that ...}  Each moment we ignore the reasons we hold on to things we don't want, those things rob us of energy, health, and clarity.



If you're a clutter-clinger, be kind to yourself.  {oh, good, she's giving me permission to cut myself some slack & be kind to me. }Begin with an awareness of your thoughts and excuses. For starters, read over this list to see if you can find YOUR excuse!


Clutter Excuse #1: "I'd be a bad mean horrible person if I…"


Guilt is heavy gooey energy that convinces us we're bad people if we let go of heirlooms, knick-knacks, unwanted clothing, or unwanted gifts.


These items clutter up our lives and keep us in a comfortable – but draining – place. And conveniently, we never have to decide what we actually do want in our environment. We become environmental victims. Often, that spreads out into other parts of our lives too!



Clutter Excuse #2 - "I spent so much on it!"


Do you punish yourself for having made a bad choice by keeping the item around? Or convince yourself that you're going to get your money's worth – even if it drains the hell out of you?

You won't. And it will.

We've all done stupid things. And we've all had to let them go. Now it's your turn.


Clutter Excuse #3 - "I might need this someday."


I often wonder how many idle telephone cords exist in the world. Way in the back of old desk drawers. Stuffed on closet shelves. They can't be gotten rid of.


Why?


Because we might need them some day.


Evidently, some day - in spite of technological progress - you're going to need that particular grey phone cord that came in the box with a phone you bought in 1989. {I know, but ... oh, okay. point well taken!}



Throw it out. Now.


Same thing goes for: The broken fax machine, switch plates from your first house, and every glass flower vase that came with deliveries. {uh, oh, guilty as charged here.}


Clutter Excuse #4 - "I might do this someday."


I know. I know.  {see, she knows me - she really really knows me.}


Someday you'll take those broken pieces of china you've collected and create a beautiful mosaic birdbath. {Oh my goodness, Christine knows about my broken pieces of china box - the one I "intend" to have Karyl help me make into a beautiful mosaic birdbath someday?!   And you think I'm kidding here, right?  NOT. }  And you'll go through those stacks of magazines and make that collage for your sister's 30th birthday party. (She's 51 now.)


Now – I don't mean to deny you your plans and dreams. However, I urge you to consider experiencing the infinite relief that appears when you let old project ideas go.  {consider the possibilities !!!}


Call your sister and tell her the collage ain't gonna happen. Buy a mosaic birdbath from an artist who makes her living from creating such treasures.


And then, make space for what you want to do. Don't fill your space with what you should do.


Clutter Excuse #5 - "I gotta look good to my guests."


CD's. Books. DVD's. Are these items treasured? Or are they simply a prop so your guests will be impressed by your intelligence and diverse tastes? {and here I thought I wanted them because I wanted to impress MYSELF with my eclectic music and movie taste ... dang, Christine's good at calling our bluff, huh?}

Remember this: we are motivated by two things: Fear or Love. Which of these keeps you clinging to items because of appearances?


Clutter Excuse #6 - "I Don't Know Where It Goes."


When items don't have a home, it's harder to determine whether or not they are clutter. Some things may seem like clutter - like the cute card that your daughter made that floats around from drawer to drawer - but they're not clutter.


They're homeless.


Once you start defining spaces for items, then it's easier to see when something doesn't fit anywhere and should just get tossed.



Clutter Excuse #7 - "My thoughts don't have any power. Do they?"

Everything has energy. The thoughts you have about the things in your home CREATE energy. If you are surrounded by stuff you keep out of guilt, then your environment holds guilt. If you hang on to stuff given to you by your ex, and you still feel bitter – then there is bitterness in your home.


Get it?  {getting it, getting it, getting it ...}

It's either fueling you, or draining you. Some things might be neutral, of course. But if anything triggers you, then that is your barometer. Let it go.


Clutter Excuse #8 - "But I never wore it!"

See Clutter Excuse #2.


Clutter Excuse #9 - "There's too much stuff!" 
{isn't that the whole point here ???}

Overwhelm can stop us in our tracks. {I once learned, in a Wendy Freer workshop called CLUTTER CLEARING, that "perfectionist" usually means one who is often overwhelmed by the task ahead simply because they SO want to "get it done right."  Fear of doing it "imperfectly" or "incompletely" can stop us - yes, I said US - cold.  And all this time, I thought that being a perfectionist meant one who always does things perfectly!  NOT.}  If this article makes you aware that there are lots of items in your life you don't like, then go slow. Schedule small chunks of time each day. It takes time to be clutter-free! But the newfound clarity and lightness are worth it!


WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?  {yes, very much ... }


Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:



Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with more than 11,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FREE subscription to LiveCreative at http://www.christinekane.com/ .



WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?


See Christine's blog - Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous - at www.ChristineKane.com/blog .



Thank you, Christine. I needed this more today than any other day this week. 
 
To learn more about WENNDI FREER, with whom I once took a 2-day CLUTTER CLEARING workshop right here in Encinitas, California, you can find it here:
 
http://www.spaceclearing.com/html/practitioners/north-and-south-america/sobi2Details/North-and-South-America/Wenndi_Freer

Just As I Am

Take a quick trip over to my other blog, I AM PRINCESS MAGPIE  http://iamprincessmagpie.blogspot.com  to see a great post (borrowed from Andrea Schroeder) ...

It says a lot, A LOT, about body image. 

-- Davielle