Thursday, September 25, 2008

Ummm, am I crazy here ???

If any of you have been reading my BLOG, you know that for this entire week, I've been working with my daughters (and a few of my cousins) to put together a SCRAPBOOK for my Dad, Frank -- to celebrate his 88th birthday. The party is THIS WEEKEND, so time is running out. But the good news: the scrapbook is coming along beautifully.

So tonight, after reviewing how far it's come and just how incredible it is, I said to my husband:

"You know, it's so remarkable that we've been able to gather & put together VINTAGE PHOTOS as well as more recent photos -- from ALL of my Dad's siblings". (my dad is one of seven children, and all but one of his siblings - are already deceased)

Okay, everyone out there - consider what that means. Wait, some backstory first.

My father was the YOUNGEST of those 7 siblings. My father married my mother later in life, and so was already 38 when I was born -- making me by far, by decades mostly, the YOUNGEST of that generation -- MY generation -- so my cousins are not really that "connected" to me ... besides other bizarre family dynamics, the age difference pretty much left me not just an ONLY CHILD, but the only child of my generation to NOT enjoy the experience of "knowing" my cousins -- other than very peripherally.

BUT being Italian, and putting FAMILY FIRST - especially as we have aged - makes all the difference in the world. Consider that I DID have a relationship with my aunties and my uncle, but NOT with their children. So now that "baby" Davielle is putting together a book for her father, the "baby" of THAT generation, I have called upon all the cousins -- for help.

THEY HAVE RALLIED. It's incredible!

So - back to my comment to my husband tonight. (in bold, above). I explained that it's been a concerted, "community of cousins" effort - and I am just in awe.

And get this. Guess what he said. My spouse said to me "well, it couldn't have been too difficult; it's been easier for you to work on that book than it is for you to keep a house!"

OUCH! Sounds like that was his honest reaction to ... my spending more time on the gift, than I do on the household. I guess I deserved it.

Yes, I was way hurt by that remark, but ... I kept my cool, and I pointed out that what the Scrapbook MIGHT JUST SAY about who I am, and the kind of person I am, is this: that I have a big heart; that I care a lot about the people I love; that I come from an INCREDIBLE family; all those things.

I AM THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT housekeeping is NOT something I enjoy; heck, I don't like it at all. But HOMEkeeping - now that is different. And I am trying, I'm really trying -- it's a process, that's for sure.

I sure hope that someday, he'll understand that what makes me, "ME", isn't ... how capable I am at cleaning a house and stuff like that.

Deep breath; deep breath; deep breath.

Better sign off before I hyperventilate!

-- D.

POSTSCRIPT: I know that very few people actually look at my blog, so I'm not really worried that anyone will read this. I need some support, but I don't want anyone to think badly of ... my husband. I'm sure he has his reasons for saying what he did. After all, I do tend to get DISTRACTED away from ... household chores. Oops!


ann said...

we are two peas in a pod, except that my hub doesn't care, which, like The Beggar King, can be a gift and a curse.
I'm so sad I won't be able to see the book - I know it will be a treasure!!!
can we debrief the week of the 6th?

Taunia said...

You are SOOO funny! Yes, I love my Uncle Mark and would never think badly of him. However, he IS a man...

Venting is healthy, and ever so necessary. ESPECIALLY with comments like that. So vent away!!!