Saturday, October 11, 2008

Most Excellent TIPS from a can't-live-without-it BOOK

The COMPLETE Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook, by Joshua Piven & David Borgenicht, which comes with a handy dandy (searchable, no less) CD ... is a MUST HAVE on every library shelf. At the very least, a copy belongs in every Guest Bedroom (or bathroom!) in America and Canada.

I have to limit myself to just a few entries at a time, otherwise it's near-hysteria for me. But the GOOD kind of hysteria, if you know what I mean.

Have you ever found yourself reading names out of a phone book, out loud, to amuse a friend or co-worker? THIS is better.

Take THIS entry, for example:


1. Hang onto the reins - but do not pull them back hard in an attempt to stop the camel. A camel's head, unlike that of a wayward horse, cannot always be pulled to the side to slow it down. Camels are usually harnessed with a head halter or nose reins, and pulling on the nose reins can tear the camel's nose (OUCH!) -- or break the reins.

2. If the camel has sturdy reins and a head halter, pull the reins to one side to make the camel run in a circle. Do not fight the camel; pull the reins in the direction the camel attempts to pull its head. The camel may change direction several times during the incident - let it do so.

3. If the camel has nose reins, just hang on tight. Use the reins for balance, and grip with your legs. If there is a saddle, hold on to the horn.

4. Hold on until the camel stops. Whether the camel is running in circles or in a straight path, it will not run very far. The camel will sit down when it grows tired.

5. When the camel sits, jump off. Hold on to the reins to keep it from running off.

If you, like me, just can't live without these critical SURVIVAL TIPS, I highly recommend you buy the book(s). Personally, a collection of these by topic just didn't do it for me -- I had to have THE WHOLE BOOK in one oh-so-valuable compendium.

ENJOY - and here's to our collective, continued SURVIVAL of this thing called ... Life.

-- Davielle

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